I
s it really best to deal with our areas of weakness, as is characteristic of Level B learning? Wouldn’t it be better to focus on our strengths (our native style) and simply forget about our weaknesses? This is a good question. To be constantly preoccupied with one’s weaknesses would be both psychologically unhealthy and highly ineffective. As I tried to demonstrate on page 54 (“The power of purple alligators”), attempting to avoid a negative habit can result in being possessed by that very habit.
On the other hand, the solution should never be just to ignore our dark sides. The goal of spiritual growth is much more than simply learning to think positively, and in the process risk putting to sleep both our ability to self-criticize and our ability to suffer. In vast parts of spiritual growth literature, the constructive role of negative feelings is neglected. Sometimes we get the impression that “spirituality” and “feeling well” are almost synonymous. But feeling well has nothing whatsoever to do with our spiritual maturity. After having evaluated empirical studies and his own pastoral experiences, the psychologist Steven S. Sandage concluded, “If I have an index of a person‘s present spiritual or psychological well-being, it tells me nothing about their level of spiritual or psychological
maturity.”
If you have any uneasiness at all regarding your opposite style, what might God be wanting to teach you about himself or yourself through those negative feelings?
Further topics in the above chapter of the full version of the book
Minimum factor or opposite pole? - The function of negative feelings - Difference to other approaches - Learning a little to learn a lot