My husband Ash and I have typically had more similar results from the three colours of love test. A couple of years ago, however, there was one fruit that we differed significantly on. It was joy. I always found that my difficult situations would take over my mind, and with a lack of self-control also apparent I would more often than not get tied up in the situation. On the other hand, tricky situations that life threw at Ash would very rarely affect him.
This idea of things in the world not affecting my emotional state was a ghastly thought to me. Ash was always so laid back and often when I was looking for some sympathy his response to me would be "you'll be right.” No hug, not even a pat on the shoulder. As I have begun to get to know him better, what i initially thought was a lack of sympathy, I now see as one of his real strengths in life. His positive attitude, his joy, has definitely helped me to be more emotionally stable.
Another thing I believe we have learnt as a couple has been the balance between goodness and joy. One of the reasons my joy was low was because my goodness was so high. I used to focus only on the way that things should be, whereas Ash would focus on the way that things will be. We have grown to see that we are allowed to be upset about some things when they are not in line with God's standards, but we always strive to land on joy, and the knowledge that God will always be God, even when we are in desperate situations.