I have been very active when it comes to my personal journey with The 3 Colours of Love. I was introduced to the book in about 2004 just prior to a church camp focussed on the topic. The picture of me back then is very different to my current picture and I hope to share this with you now.
2004
Highest fruit - Peace (125)
Lowest fruit - Self-control (82)
My circle was small and VERY blue.
This was all very nice and interesting to learn about myself but the exciting growth that I experienced in the last year is what I really want to focus on.
My next survey was done three years after my first one. Our small group started to work through The 3 Colours of Love together and here is how it turned out for me.
2007
Highest fruit - Joy (118)
Lowest fruit - Self-control (100)
My circle is now big and VERY centred.
Well I was stoked! Self-control from 82 to 100 in three years and I didn't even have to do much really! What caught my eye the most was my Gentleness score. In 2004 it was a score of 114 and ranked 4th and now three years later it is a score of 104 and ranked 7th! Obviously that wasn't right...ahem...actually, its all true. With the truth now uncovered and my unGentleness and low Self-control out there for my small group to see I embarked on a very important journey with my good friend from Germany who was living here with me and my friends for 8 months (the majority of our small group lives together or right next door. I think this is a good setup if you want accountability!).
Tim & I committed initially to just a few meetings to be held weekly where we would move through the push-start cycle questions. We each nominated the fruits that we wished to focus on and then off we went! It was extremely daunting for me at first. I was nervous about sharing personal things with someone else ESPECIALLY a bloke and I was initially very reserved or answered the questions in code or with big english words that the German wouldn't understand! I now know he is quite savvy with the English language...oops...
Over the course of the next few weeks I was truly challenged. It was no longer acceptable to not grow and to not be changed. We had a few weeks break and then resumed our meetings after deciding that we both needed a love cycle partner if we were ever going to move forward. Excitedly we discovered new things about each other and watched each other change and grow and celebrated with a high five or an encouraging comment whenever we noticed the other making some steps in the right direction. It was very helpful to have the person I was cycling with 'at hand' nearly all the time. I would share in detail about my day at work where my low Gentleness was most apparent and he wasn't there so that he could correct me on something. I think soon after this we were busting to test ourselves again to see how we have changed since meeting together.
March 2008
Highest Fruit - Joy (118)
Lowest Fruit - Gentleness (101)
Well ... I kind of didn't do so well with the Gentleness factor there but where is my self-control??????? My 4 year long struggle is missing!
Self-control came in at 4th on the list with a score of 112!
Over the next few months we didn't have 'formal' meetings but because we had established this cycle partnership we still took the liberty of challenging each other when we saw that it needed to be done. I think the biggest struggle I felt was feeling like I was being challenged more than I was challenging. We managed to work through this together though and I can say without a doubt that our friendship, our partnership, was the most important ingredient when it came to my growth in self-control. Do you know how I know this...
Tim left Australia in June to go back to his home in Germany. I lost my accountability and also my self-control!
August 2008
Highest Fruit - Peace (128)
Lowest Fruit - Self-Control (105)
Yes, I continue on in my quest for self-control but joyfully recognize that my picture from four years ago is very different. Things could be worse :)
My advice is to go and grab someone nearby and let them see you and give them permission to give you a 'push-start' in the right direction! The growth that can happen IS life changing!